you could be happy and i won't know...

After reading certain feelings of others I thought I would reflect on them. In 4 years, there was more drama and infidelity in a relationship than should ever be. Through all that though, was I ever happy. Yes. I was. A couple of times. Those first few months were amazing. You treated me so well(i thought) and wrote to me constantly and we spent so much time together. Of course that bit me in the ass later but whatever. Then it was rough through the ups and downs of me and kyle and everything else. I was finally starting to get better and I was becoming happy about our relationship again. Then bam! I find out about you and Jessie hanging out behind my back again. Everything falls again. But the last and I have to say THE HAPPIEST time in our relationship would be the begining of this year. From February to April. I had never felt your love like I did then. You made me so incredibly happy, I thought then in those months that everything was finally going to be okay and we would actually move on and technically start our relationship over the right way for once. Of course, fate didn't have that in the cards for us. We found out about our surprise and then you destroyed every last ounce of my being. Everything was over at this point. I don't know why we even tried anymore. Well I guess I didn't because you said plenty that night with Alison. I don't think you ever and still don't understand what you did to me. Just the mere thought of it makes me cry, like I'm doing now. I don't expect anything from you anymore. Not even friendship really. I'd like it but I know I won't really receive it. You're blinded by "something" that I think will destroy you and hurt you but you won't look at it like that. You don't see what everyone else sees. I only wish you happiness.