First post, oh this is going to be a good one. Let's speed you up on everything. My life has always been a whirlwind of emotions and ever changing motions. My family was a mess growing up, I had an interesting high school experience then things got better. Much better, in fact, I thought I was setting sail into the sunset of my life and things were exactly as they should be in any normal person's life. I guess fate wasn't going to have that for me. After a trip visiting with family I came home to find out my husband had been cheating on me. Not only with people he knew but complete strangers(that's as far as I will elaborate on that for now). Within a 2-3 week time span my life was turned upside down. I was heading to divorce and nothing I did or said mattered anymore. The man I loved with all my being turned into someone else and our marriage fell apart spontaneously. I was deeply hurt and confused and lost, well hell, I still am. I decided to turn to the one thing that would make me feel better. Sex. Nothing makes someone feel falsely wanted like meaningless sex. Just to be held for those brief moments intertwined with the opposite sex just does something for one's soul. In a matter of months my "number" doubled and turned me into a temporary sex addict. This blog is pretty much going to be dedicated to my constant struggle of wondering if real love even exists any more. I'm going to share my life experiences of all those who came and went so quickly these last few months and those nights when all I can think about is ending it all. This blog will be nothing but real, honest, raw emotions in an attempt to anchor this heart of mine.
xoxo -Rachel
