you say you wanted more, what are you waiting for? i'm not running from you.

I was listening to Venom today and then a certain song came on and it hit me. I remembered all these things that a certain person and me did and it confused me. Like...they really put effort into things and held me like they meant it and I didn't remember any of this until today and it freaked me out a little bit. I actually had real feelings for this person and I obviously blocked all that out until today...I guess because of the situation it was but still. What if I've had these feelings all along and like never really got over this person? I don't know, its a really weird thought because i don't know, i guess because of who it is and I never really thought anything of this person lately until today. I'm sure this doesn't make a lot of sense to anyone else but whatev, lol.

"what if I wanted to break? laugh it all of in your face? what would you do? what if i fell to the floor, couldn't take this anymore. what would you do?"

I will lie awake, lie for fun and fake the way I hold you, let you fall for every empty word I say

I'm tired of sketchy people. I'm tired of them hurting people. Why do you do it? I mean I completely understand if you are just out to "get some" so to speak as long as the other person is okay with it being that way. But why do you feel the need to make them feel like there is more there than there really is? Why do you kiss on them and hold them the way you do? Why tell them personal things and how pretty they are and how much they mean to you if it really means nothing in the end? Maybe I just don't understand your thinking process. I'm just tired of being at the other end of the spectrum. I've never been the actual sketch, just the sketch-ee so to speak and the same goes for my closest friends. Nobody wants to be fucked and held through the night with tiny kisses caressing their body and the slow movements of your hand running down our side without it being real. I've never met one person who does. If you don't feel that way towards me than fine but DON'T treat me as if you do. I'm not say hop on it and then go chat it up on myspace like some of you do but don't make me feel like you have something there for me when you don't. It hurts. Especially since YOU "certain people" of all people should know how that feels to be treated that way. I just want you to mean it or let me go.