i must be a magnet

I don't know why but I seem to always, I mean ALWAYS attract selfish friends. I have to have surgery because I have a TUMOR and my best friend is only worried about her own situation. Yes, she's having a baby but she has other people to help her and I don't. I'm sorry I can't watch your son because I'm having a life threatening ordeal going on in my life. I'm sorry that my husband is pretty much assured on a time frame on when to come home and yours isn't but could you at least be a little more considerate for God's sake? Why can't you understand what I'm going through and be here for me instead of only worrying about yourself? I just don't get it, I really don't.

keeping quiet

I'm having a hard night tonight. I was doing fine with the whole tumor news but now after reading about the kind I have and all the things that go with it, I'm getting worried. I won't know any more news on it either until late next week. I'm hoping to postpone the surgery until after I get back from the mainland. I really wish I had Erik here to talk to right now. I'm trying to be strong on my own but its hard when something like this is going on and you have minimal communication where you have to wait up to a week to hopefully get any kind of response back. I don't know what to do or think or anything. I feel like I have no one to talk to about it at all. The only person I trust is probably thousands of miles away from me right now. I said something to Holli but its hard to open up to anyone here when I feel like everything is going to repeated to everyone else. I don't know what to do and I don't want to scare everyone. I just need to keep quiet for now I guess and just breathe....