love me like the world is ending

I'm trying to convince myself to just listen to the stars because they've never steered me wrong but these last few days have been challenging. I'm just too much of a girl sometimes and over think things I believe, or at least that's what I'm telling myself. I guess I just want to be loved like the world is ending, in my eyes.

Yayness for new music too! I've been pumping my ears full of new songs and new bands. I've enjoyed it. I'll have to take time and do each band individual soon though so I can appreciate them all, lol.

I miss mr. gustafson.

well i trip over everything you say

Since you have found my blogspot I don't really have anything to hide, lol. Everything I have posted have been honest feelings with no hiding which I'm good at doing so here's my heart.

If you haven't read already, I'm falling for you fast and I'm hoping that its a good thing. You made me feel like you have the same feelings towards me after talking to you on the phone the other night. Maybe they're not as strong or maybe they're stronger, I don't know but as long as they are real. I'm tired of false feelings that lead to nothing. You truely are amazing to me.

This is random but I noticed when we played circle of death tonight that you said you had never truly loved someone and that made me sad. I think everyone should feel that feeling of never wanting to be with anyone else, EVER. I obviously have felt that and have been there but was screwed over because I had a boyfriend who used me for the first two years we were together and ruined those feelings for me. I know this is risky to say but if things work out..and I just edited what was written here because..well its better left unsaid right now.

Overall I guess I only have one true worry with us but we'll get to that discussion another day.

i admit that i'm just a fool for you, i'm just a fool for you

its definitely official, if you couldn't tell already...i'm completely head over heels for erik benjamin gustafson and its pretty ridiculous. yeah things are a little more abnormal than how most couples would prefer but I love every minute of it. he makes me so happy words can't describe it. its nice to know that everything isn't one sided for once. he's actually there to let me know i'm wanted. he's everything i could ask for. ♥

I have this dream where we're back in the hotel room, and you propose to me, and every single time, I say yes.

"It's just a dream right?"

"Yes, but its my dream."


This is extremely pathetic but I can't help it. Becca and I went on a search around Wilmington to find all of the O.T.H. scenes. It was amazing. It took 2 hours to find River court. Well we found it the first time but then didn't think it was it so we left and then found out that it had indeed been the right place. So we got out and walked over to it and there it was. Sadly, barely visible, endearing love letter to Lucas. It made us wayy too happy and sad at the same time. We found out that they were shooting there earlier that day too so we got a little more giddy about it. Then later we accidently found Clothes Over Bro's and were estatic as well. We're such geeks. OTH is amazingly perfect and honest and realistic to how things would turn out in the real world I believe. Lucas and Peyton make it easier to "believe" that love really can last forever, even if we're stubborn.

no, i won't let them take you, won't let them take you, hell no no

Okay okay so I was definitely being a silly girl. I mean yes I had a reason to wonder but that's all cleared up now. Everything I wanted to know or had questions to were answered tonight and I'm super happy and excited at the same time. He is amazing.

this story's old but it goes on and on until we disappear

Ah! Why am I a stupid ass girl?! I don't know what to think about this whole situation. I've never been as "awe" as I am now...not even with DKW. I mean don 't get me wrong he is awesome as well but this time its different. I feel like this is my chance to break away and move on to a new life with bigger and better things but I know its just not going to happen for me. The guy I'm falling for is amazing and I just can't get enough of him. I've never had anyone make me feel like this in a VERY long time. He constantly smothers me with kisses and holds me and cuddles me and makes me feel like I'm something important to him. Even with his friends, he's not embarassed to show his affection to me. I just want to be his, I want that power to say I am. I mean yes, I could marry him and get free money but I would want him to marry me for more than just money reasons. I can tell that I mean more than just money to him, I can see it in his eyes and the way he treats me but I don't know. I think I'm just being a stupid girl about the whole situation. When I try to think about it rationally I think maybe I'm just trying to rush things. I'm tired of waiting like I've stated to many people time and time again. I want to be happy and married and stable and feel loved by that one person who makes me feel like the rest of the world doesn't matter to them. *sigh*